


She Has To

by an_abounding_sentiment



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: F/F, In my history I tend to make my faves suffer, Light Angst, Marya has Feelings, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 16:45:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19023913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_abounding_sentiment/pseuds/an_abounding_sentiment
Summary: Drabble. Marya can't be happy on the wedding day when it isn't her at the alter, hand-in-hand with the woman she loves. The wine definitely could never be enough. But it's a good idea--it has to be.





	She Has To

**Author's Note:**

> Very short drabble that I stumbled upon in an old notebook, plus I'm feeling a bit nostalgic

Marya watched with a frown on her face--watched Hélène dance with a smile on her face. She wondered if Hélène was truly happy there and decided she had to be, otherwise Marya wasn't sure she could take this. She remembered the brunette's tears when she told her, grabbing onto Marya for dear life. She also remembered crying too, because Marya was too aware of life to pretend they could somehow bring a wedding facilitated by Vasily Kuragin to a screeching halt. Maybe Hélène got to know him and decided she could learn to love him, even though she squeezed Marya's hands in hers, telling her it'd be impossible to love anyone else like that. The redhead on the outskirts of the crowded room took a sip from the glass in her hand, Marya forced herself to watch his large hands clumsily find her waist as if he'd never touched a woman before. She was sure he's danced with women before with all of the ones who had thrown themselves at him before Vasily staked his claim, and yet the redhead was quite confident she could have done better both blindfolded and upside down. It hurt, but at least she was trying"trying to adjust like she'd promised the bride, whose dress was the most modest Marya had ever seen her in. After taking plenty more sips of the drink in her hand, Marya came to the conclusion no amount of anything was going to make this bearable.

"You think it's a bad idea, too?" Marya turned her head towards the voice. Fedya Dolokhov typically wore nicer clothes, but its luxury was often denoted for its filth; it was the cleanest most of society had ever seen it for the occasion. He leaned back slightly against the drink table on one elbow, pulling a wine bottle off it and began to refill Marya's glass without another word from either individual; the scowling redhead wasn't about to complain. She absent-mindedly tried to recall the last time she talked to Dolokhov, not able to think of it with Hélène right over his shoulder. 

"Pierre is a good man," Marya responded distantly. Was he truly? Yes. But being kind was hardly enough: the brunette needed a challenge. Marya didn't want to think about how quickly he was going to bore her to death. She couldn't think about it. Pierre was good, and Hélène looked happy; Pierre could offer her all the things Marya didn't: more books than the girl could dream of for curling up to read on days where winter was especially brutal, a childlike curiosity, money, and strong large hands or a beard that tickled her face when the they kissed. The girl was witty and sharp enough she could probably adjust a hell of a lot easier than the older woman could. She always said asking too many questions drove her insane and that she liked facial hair maybe one out of ten times, but Hélène would adjust. She had to. Marya was torn out of her thoughts by a loud scoff.

"Just cause he won't hurt her doesn't mean it's a good idea," Fedya shrugged and Marya wanted nothing more than for him to drop it so she didn't have time to agree. It was a good idea. It had to be. "They'll drive each other crazy," 

"Hélène will adjust," And Marya, too. They'd both just have to get used to not loving one another anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a short little baby thing because I've never posted here and need to test the waters lollll


End file.
